what if he lost is memories

was leaning myself on the bed while playing with my new phone  micro sd card. I remember I had one but it went missing when I lost my phone together with it during a Xmas count down at sg wang a few years back. To be honest, till now I'm still afraid of the count down. It was super massive loads of people and all you could see is people attacking people with canned snow! I've been in this situation twice and to be honest, there will never be a third time.

Anyway, while I was exploring and installing new application into my NEWWWWW kingston micro sd card (lol), I slowly had a difficulty in breathing. Ya, bad idea to lean on my chest to play with my phone right?

Out of a sudden, I had a flash back of what he asked me earlier this morning while we were having breakfast...

He's always forgetful about my stuff, I really do mind it but after a few hours, I would tend to forget about it. Given to be last time, I will keep quiet and be angry at him till the second day and this would really pissed him off cause I will pretend to be nothing (which actually I'm angry and I refused to admit it). But lately, I will try to tell him how I feel and forgive him before the day ends.

SO.... I told him that he can forget anything BUT me. I said that I will certainly feel very sad if he forgets about me. After awhile, he started to asked me, how would I feel if he suddenly forgets about me one day, what would I do. I said "there must be a reason behind it, everything changes for a definite reason". In my mind, I was thinking "will he asked me what would I do if he lost his memories?"... Yup, he did.

All I could say is that if he really do lost his memories, I cant do about it. If he's facing a temporary memory lost, I might still able to accept it. However, if he had the permanent one, I won't even dare to imagine. To be, thinking far has been a phobia to me. Nothing is guaranteed (which what I've faced before I met him). Thinking forward can either something good or something bad. If you think about the good, you won't be able to accept failure in the future. If you think about the worst, all you could only think of are the negativities. Trust me. Enjoy what you have right now and think less, you will be happier.

While I was driving to his place after a movie last night, I was thinking...what would happened to him if I lost my life while speeding under the rain...

I always think that me loving him is more than what he's loving me. But after a few months of accumulation, I can tell that he's so much more considerate than me. Although he's always forgetful about what he promised me and being busy 24/7, everyday he will asked me whether I had had my lunch, what I had for lunch, breakfast, dinner... Each time when we have food together, he will not forget to give me some of his portion to share while I'm just busy eating mine. One thing I shall never forget, removing all the fish bone from a fish for someone is nothing. BUT removing chicken bone from a chicken is SOMETHING! 

Yesterday while we were enjoying a bingu from cafe bene, he was totally feeding me from the start till the end and I had only fed him once. I was enjoying the whole time without always lifting a finger! And the steamboat we had few days ago, he was literally cooking everything scooping the food for me. Not a finger was lifted as well. 

Sometimes, I do wonder the more he treats me good, the more I scare of losing him...